4 Behavioural Expectations of Infants
Chapter Objectives
After this chapter you should be able to:
- Understand behavioural expectations for infants birth to 12 months.
- Be able to identify strategies for supporting infant behaviour including building attachments and relationships, crying, feeding, diapering, interacting with objects, sleeping and bathing.
Understanding of behavioural expectations of infants is essential when thinking about or using behaviour strategies for infants. Make sure:
- Your expectations are appropriate to the age and developmental level of the infant
- You keep your expectations clear and reasonable
- You tell children what to do instead of what not to do to give clear guidance on you expect
Remember all children develop skills at different rates and at different times. When deciding which strategy will work best with a child, take into account what they can do as well as what new skills they will learn.
Behavioural Expectations
Infants from Birth-6 months
- Develops own rhythm in feeding, sleeping, and eliminating.
- Gains early control of eye movement.
- Develops motor control in orderly sequence: balances head, rolls over, pulls self to sitting position and sits alone momentarily.
- Begins to grasp objects.
- Learns through senses.
- Coos and vocalizes spontaneously. Babbles in syllables.
- Discriminates primary caregiver (usually mother) from others; is more responsive to this person.
- Imitates movements. Gazes at faces. Smiles to be friendly.
- Likes to be held, played with, tickled, and jostled.
- Shows excitement through waving arms, kicking, wiggling.
- Shows pleasure in anticipation of being fed or picked up. o Cries in different ways when cold, wet, hungry.
- Fears loud or unexpected noise, strange objects, situations or persons, sudden movements, and pain.
Infants from 6 months to 12 months
- Learns through the senses, especially the mouth.
- Likes to put things in and take things out of mouth, cupboards, boxes, etc.
- Likes to repeat the same behaviour, but also likes to see novel things.
- Likes to hear objects named. Begins to understand such familiar words as eat,
- Mama, bye-bye, doggie.
- Finds mother or mother substitute extremely important.
- Will talk to you, using babbling sounds.
- Will start to imitate behaviours of others.
- Eating is a major source of interaction.
- Will not “play nicely” with other infants; will poke, pull, push, instead. This is because the child doesn’t distinguish others as equal beings.
- Needs to feel sure that someone will take care of him/her.
- Becomes unhappy when mother or primary caregiver leaves.
- Draws away from strangers.
- Needs to be held and cuddled with warmth and love.
Strategies for Support
Infant Behaviour Birth to 12 months
- Adapt schedule to Baby’s rhythms as much as possible.
- Supply adequate food.
- Change baby’s position frequently; hold and cuddle often.
- Exercise baby’s arms and legs during bathing and changing.
- Supply visual stimuli, such as mobiles and bright colors.
- Let baby grasp fingers as you pull him/her up
- Provide objects to see, hear, and grasp, e.g., rattles.
- Talk and sing to child a great deal, repeating many words, not just sounds.
- Play pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo. Show facial expressions of smiling in response to child’s anticipation.
- Learn to “read” the different cries. Respond to crying consistently.
- Don’t be afraid of spoiling the infant – crying is the only way an infant has to express needs.
- Respond to the child’s fears by talking in a calm manner and by picking up and cuddling the child.
- Bounce the child gently on your knees, gently rock, carry, gently pat on back.
- Let child play “dropping things” since this helps in understanding the world.
- Provide child with opportunity to use hands and fingers, e.g., finger foods, water play, toys.
- Be especially patient with child’s crankiness; provide things to chew on when teething.
- Provide toys and games that involve all five senses.
- Repeat words and activities and introduce child to new activities, e.g., take the child grocery shopping.
- Say the names of objects as the child sees or uses them. Begin to look at very simple picture books with the child.
- Talk to the child.
- Do the things you want the child to do.
- Don’t expect the child to play well with others, because other children appear as play objects, like toys.
- Always meet the child’s needs related to hunger, cleanliness, warmth, holding, sensory stimulation, and interaction with an adult
| Table 1: Building Attachments and Relationships | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? |
What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant does not look at caregiver or objects |
Talk and sing to an infant, repeating many words, not just sounds, interact with them closely. | Hold your infant to give comfort, closeness and warmth. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Have a brightly colored, visually attractive or black/white contrast toy or object to interact with your infant. Hold your infant to give comfort, closeness and warmth. | Talk and interact with infant. | Teach infant how to interact with the environment. | |
| Respect your infant’s cues, he/she might need a break from interactions. | Change your infant’s position, so it easier for them to look toward you. |
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| Make sure all other needs (diapering, and sleep) are met. | Try doing one comforting action at a time. The infant might be over stimulated by more. | ||
| Your infant is crying | Hold your infant to give comfort, closeness and warmth. | Hold your infant to give comfort, closeness and warmth. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Talk or sing quietly to infant (figure out what sounds sooth them the best….usually the caregiver’s voice). | Talk, sing and interact quietly with infant. | Teach them that you will respond when they cry. |
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| Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep). | Change your infant’s position, hold a different way. | Teach infant about a comforting item (pacifier, blanket, stuffed animal). |
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| Give child a preferred object such as a pacifier, blanket or stuffed toy (depending on age) to hold. | Swaddle Infant in a blanket to make them feel secure. | Begin to establish routines so infant learns hat to expect. | |
| Use your infant’s preferred method of calming (try one at a time, more may be over stimulating). | Try doing one comforting action at a time. The infant might be over stimulated by more. | ||
| Make sure the environment is not over stimulating for your infant (it needs to be calm, soothing, lighting dimmed), remove object or the infant if it is too overwhelming. | Remove infant from over stimulating environment. | ||
| Your infant doesn’t like to be held, played with, tickled, and jostled |
Make sure the environment is not over stimulating for your infant (it needs to be calm, soothing, lighting dimmed). | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Find less physical activities the child might enjoy (listen to music, a visual stimulus to look at). | Remove your infant from over stimulating environment. | ||
| Talk and comfort infant. | Allow infant to lie safely alone, they might have need to self-calm. | ||
| Make physical contact with infant, touching, patting or rubbing. | |||
| Your infant doesn’t like you to leave |
Stay and play or interact with infant before leaving. | Hold your infant give comfort and reassurance. | Teach your infant that the place where you leave them is safe by modeling positive interactions with the childcare provider. |
| Smile and talk with childcare provider (or person you are leaving the infant with, so the child knows they are a safe and trusting person). |
Talk and interact with infant. | Teach an older infant about the schedule of the day and when you will return, “I will be back after you play outside.” | |
| As the infant gets older, use a visual schedule to show him/her when you will return after play, singing, snack or playground. | For an older infant, give him/her a picture of yourself. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and keep them safe. | |
| Give a picture of yourself to the childcare provider to share with your child while you are gone. | For an older infant, talk through the days schedule and tell him/her when you will return. | ||
| Don’t sneak out, make sure you say goodbye (this gives the infant reassurance you will come back). | Give childcare provider a favorite toy or object that he/she can use with your infant. | ||
| Your infant is fearful of other people |
Introduce new people to your infant from the safety of your arms. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and keep them safe. |
| Give new person a favorite toy or book to engage with your infant. | Remove infant from the situation or hold them in your arms. | ||
| Watch for over stimulating situations, where there might be too many strangers for the infant or lots of other distractions. |
Reassure your infant knows that you are there and will not leave them. | ||
| Introduce new people in calm quiet environment. | |||
| Table 2: Feeding |
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| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant refuses to eat or falls asleep after eating a small amount or infant fusses when feeding | Adapted schedule according to your baby’s rhythms. | Make sure all other needs (diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach your infant that you will be there to comfort and keep them safe. |
| Try a different feeding position. | Adapted to your infant’s schedule and feed him/her when she is interested and/or not sleepy or fussy. | Teach older infant, to use sign language to tell you when they are hungry or full. | |
| For an older infant, give a choice of what to eat. | Move your infant to a less stimulating place (quiet, low light, and/or quiet music). | ||
| Allow the infant to sleep, they will wake when hungry. | |||
| Make sure the environment is not over stimulating for the infant. | |||
| Table 3: Diapering | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? |
What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant fusses and cries when getting changed | Change your baby’s position. | Pick infant up and comfort and calm. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Use visual stimuli, such as mobiles and bright colors to distract your infant. | Talk or sing quietly. | Teach the infant the routine by talking through your actions each time you change them. | |
| Talk and sing to child while changing. | Move infant to a different spot or change position to make him/her comfortable. | ||
| Cuddle your infant before placing on table to change. | Have everything ready an do a quick change so you can hold and calm infant. | ||
| Your infant wiggles and moves about when changing | Use visual stimuli, such as mobiles and bright colors to distract infant. | Give older infant something to hold (helping you change the diaper). | Teach the infant the routine by describing your actions each time you change to the infant. |
| Narrate what you are doing and praise infant for being still. | Move infant to a different spot or change position to make him/her comfortable. | Teach an older infant that first you do this and then you can choose what to do next. | |
| If child can sit up or stand on own, offer to allow him/her to stand but have them help with the change. | Distract infant with a mobile or visually interesting toy. | ||
| Talk to older infant, tell in him/her that first we stay still to change the diaper then we will (plan fun activity). | |||
| Table 4: Interaction with Toys or Other Objects |
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| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant seems fearful of toy or object | Introduce new objects/toys slowly. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and keep them safe. |
| If the objects/toy make a sound turn volume down. | Be there to comfort and make them feel safe. | Teach infant that you can explore his/her environment together. |
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| If object/toy makes a sound and it startles the infant, talk and hold them and reassure them that they are safe. | Remove toy/object and give child a preferred toy/object to play with. | ||
| Select objects/toys for infant by following the infant’s preference (quiet toys, toys that move, bright color toys, contrasting color toys etc). | |||
| Table 5: Bedtime/Sleeping/Napping | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant won’t like to nap/sleep | Hold, cuddle, rock or sing quiet music for your infant. | Calm and sooth infant by holding, rocking or swaddling. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Play soothing music. | Make sure all other needs food and diapering are met. | ||
| Try to darken the room or your child’s sleep area. | |||
| Use a favorite sleep item, e.g., stuffed animal, pillow, blanket. | |||
| Read a simple story about nap/bedtime | |||
| Your child wants adult attention | Rock, cuddle with infant until sleeping. | Offer choice of “comfort item”. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Sing quietly to infant. | Calm, sooth infant by rocking, cuddling, or rubbing back. | ||
| Provide a doll, stuffed animal, or a comfort item to sleep with. |
Make sure all other needs food and diapering are met. | ||
| Your child has a hard time settling down or soothing self to sleep | Have infant positioned with minimal distractions (darken room, quiet, calm space a preferred position in your arms). | Offer choice of comfort item. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Put on quiet music. | Make sure all other needs food and diapering are met. | ||
| Hold, rock, rub infants back or sing to infant. | |||
| Table 6: Taking a Bath | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant does not like water/soap in his/her eyes so struggles with washing hair | Use cloth instead of putting in the bath, gradually start to pour water over arms and legs at a safe temperature then start with short bath experience. | Calm and sooth infant, gradually work to bath. | Teach your infant a bath time routine and go through steps slowly and use the steps every time. |
| Develop bath time routine and go through steps slowly. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. | ||
| Sing or talk to the infant while giving a bath. | |||
| Your infant does not like bath time and wants to get out | Use cloth instead of putting in the bath, gradually start to pour water over arms and legs at a safe temperature then start with short bath experiences. | Calm and Sooth infant, gradually work to bath. | Teach your infant a bath time routine and go through steps slowly and use the steps every time. |
| Get a book about taking a bath. | Use cloth instead of putting in the bath | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them | |
| Move through washing your child quickly so that your child is not in the water long. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Sing a silly song, or play a game with your child to make bath time more fun. | |||
| Table 7: Transitions: Going From One Place/Activity to Another | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? |
What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant doesn’t want to leave parent to go to childcare/preschool | Comfort and reassure infant that someone, mommy or daddy, will pick him/her up after school. | Redirect infant with a comfort item or preferred toy. | Show infant by holding, rocking and talking to them that you will return. |
| Bring a comfort item from home and for them to hold it during day. | Hold and sooth infant and interact with caregiver so hand-off will be easier. | ||
| Allow older infant to keep photo of parent in cubby or pocket. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Stay a brief amount of time with child, first play/interact with child then start moving away, maybe talking to caregiver then leaving. | |||
| Table 8: Riding in the Car | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant does not want to get in the car | Get and read a book about cleaning up | Hold and sooth infant and when calm place in seat. | Teach infant that you are there to make them feel safe and secure by talking to them, calming them. |
| Have favorite blanket to place over car seat once buckled in | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Give your infant a visual toy to use as a distraction | |||
| Your car is too hot, and your infant is uncomfortable | Cool the car off – If at home, run the air conditioner in the car for a bit before getting in. | Offer a drink. | Teach infant that you are there to make them comfortable and secure by talking to them, calming them and cooling off the car. |
| Cool the seat: put an ice pack with a towel over it on the seat of the car seat, or place a towel over the seat if ice is unavailable. Store the ice pack in a small cooler. | Make sure air conditioner is cooling the back seat. | Teach older infant and toddler to sign the motion for hot to tell you what they need. | |
| Quench his/her thirst – have a drink available for the car ride. | Remove a layer of clothing if possible. | ||
| Your car is too cold, and your infant doesn’t like being cold | Warm the car up – If at home, run the heater in the car for a bit before getting in. | Make sure the heater is warming the back seat. | Teach infant that you are there to make them comfortable and secure by talking to them, calming them and cooling off the car. |
| Warm the seat – put a blanket over the seat as the car warms up. | Have a blanket to put over the infant, after he/she is securely in the carseat. | Teach older infant and toddler to sign the motion for hot to tell you what they need. | |
| Warm up – allow him/her wear mittens and a hat. | |||
| Put a warm blanket over the car seat. | |||
| Infant seeks attention and reassurance | Calm and sooth infant by holding, rocking or singing to them. | Give infant an blanket, toy or visual object (such as a mobile). | Teach infant that you are there to make them feel safe and secure by talking to them, calming them. |
| Have sibling or another adult sit next to the infant in the car seat. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Talk or sing and entertain infant as you drive. | |||
| Play soothing, calming music in the car. | |||
| Table 9: Going to Doctor | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Infant needs attention and calming support | Make sure the infant is not hungry. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Bring infant in car seat/child carrier to be able to rock child. | Hold child and rub back, sing to them or walk around with them. | ||
| Hold child and rub back, sing to them or walk around with them. | Distract the infant with a toy. | ||
| Bring a “comfort item” to the doctor’s visit, such as a soft stuffed animal, favorite small toy, or a blanket. | Give the infant a blanket or stuffed animal to hold. | ||
| Table 10: Shopping | |||
| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant is fussing and restless | Plan shopping when your infant is well-rested and not hungry. | Calm, sooth and pay attention to infants cues. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Make shopping time short, and slowly increase time to 30 minutes. If needed, start at 5 minutes, and slowly increase time shopping. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Play a game while shopping – look for something red, look for something that begins with “A”, look for something that you drink, etc. | Shorten the shopping trip. | ||
| Give child something from home to hold for comfort and security. | |||
| Continually talk to infant while shopping, you can narrate what you are doing. | |||
| Limit your expectations – reduce the length of the trip to match your child’s tolerance level. | |||
| Your infant does not like riding in the cart/stroller/car seat. | Distract – If the infant must ride in a cart/stroller, give him/her a choice of something small to hold in the cart, e.g., juice cup, goldfish crackers, small car, small baby or stuffed animal. | Calm & sooth infant with closeness. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Encourage success – praise your infant the moment that he/she rides appropriately. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | ||
| Continually talk to infant while shopping, you can narrate what you are doing. | Shorten the shopping trip. | ||
| Avoid shopping when your infant is tired or hungry. Make sure he/she is well rested and well-fed prior to shopping. | |||
| Table 11: Restaurants |
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| Why might my child be doing this? | What can I do to prevent the problem behaviour? | What can I do if the problem behaviour occurs? | What new skills should I teach? |
| Your infant wants attention | Bring toys to interact with infant or a comforting blanket or stuffed animal for infant to hold. | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. |
| Make sitting fun – talk with your infant, play simple games, give your infant positive attention when sitting. | Hold and calm infant. | Teach your infant that you will have food, toys etc…and that you will pay/attention to them. | |
| Bring food (snack) for child to eat, while waiting. | While waiting, walk around with infant. | ||
| Your child wants an adult to play or pay attention to him/her. | Get and read a book about eating in restaurants | Make sure all other needs (food, diapering, and sleep) are met. | Teach your child that you will have food, toys etc…and that you will pay/attention to them. |
| Bring toys to interact with infant or a comforting blanket or stuffed animal for infant to hold. | Hold and calm infant. | Teach the infant that you will be there to comfort and support them. | |
| Make sitting fun – talk with your child, play simple games, give your child positive attention when sitting. | While waiting, walk around with infant. | ||
| Encourage success – praise your child for sitting and eating. | |||
| Bring food (snack) for child to eat while waiting. | |||
Chapter Attribution
Chapter adapted from: Vorhaus, E. (2012.) Family Routine Based Support Guide: Building Relationships with Infants. Team Tennessee/Pyramid Model State Partnership. https://challengingbehaviour.org/docs/RoutineSupportGuide_family_relationships-infants.pdf
Family Routine Based Support Guide: Building Relationships with Infants is adapted from: Lentini, R., Vaughn, B. J., Fox, L., & Kwang-Sun Blair (2009). Creating teaching tools for young children with challenging behaviour (3rd edition). Tampa, Florida: University of South Florida.
